dont forget... and rANDOM STUFF

HELLO THERE oops that was on accident ah but who doesn't LOVE CAPS LOCK... well actually i don't it annoys me and makes me sad... i don't even know why... so i am a freshman and i just started high school this week and just thought i would tell you how much i hate school... yeah i hate it alot.. well i hate everything but German... wirlklich... yeah that's "really" in German just saying "ich libbe dich" is "i love you" yup theres your random lesson for the day... oh and pennies hurt... just informing you... well here's the next poem... i cant tell the mood...

don't forget

don't forget 

to always dream and believe.

don't forget

not all good leaves

don't forget

time loves to fly

don't forget

to say goodbye

don't forget

about your past

don't forget

it might not last

don't forget

the tears you cried

don't forget

they eventually dried

don't forget

about the knife

don't forget

you won your life

don't forget

all your sorrows

don't forget

there might not be a tomorrow...

yuppers there it is... and its not that depressing ii hope:P

k so i am in love with this one guy named Cameron mitchell his music is amazingly awesome and hes awesome so I'm in love... yup... 

i suck at convos and i want to be able to text people more... i have a question for people reading this if you were texting someone what random deepish but not awkward topics or question would you ask... i really wanna know so comment please...

Never look a raven in the eyes to long it will steal your soul and fly away... Never look a boy in the eyes to long he will steal your heart and run away...

I feel really sick all the sudden i have a migrane and im dizzy as heck... Blahh i hate this:'(

i am here

i am here

i see your tears

 through the smile you portray

i see your fear

 through the bravery you play.

through the darkness i see you trying to hide

i know why you run

i know why you cry

you don't need to hide from me

you don't need to run

I'm standing here with open arms 

and open ears

ready to hold you

 ready to listen

 find comfort in me

cause i am here.

yuppers there ya go a happy none sad poem all trust and good ol' love...

 hmph i feel weird...

it might be because i am dead tired and have no idea whats going on like at all... its

been a crazy night... i swear i get a weird feeling some days where i just know I'm gunna cry I'm shocked that i was oh so right today... just saying this smart person right here got so overwhelmed i almost bashed my phone into glass... at church but instead i thrust my phone at yazii and fell to the floor sobbing... and legit 5 seconds after falling to the floor i hear a door shut... a shoot people always catch me crying... and in walks my awesome pastor to comfort me... how sweet... (i felt kinda bad cause i was currently texting people)gosh i am so dang grateful for all the people in my life who keep me sane (slightly) and so yeah haha love yalls night night

p.s. feed my fish and there are two black ones soo look for them they are really cute:P

yadda yadda yadda

hiya everyone so my summers coming to an end and i am not happy bout it. but i will live.. i hope :P so i got some interesting classes and the worst scedual possible this year AND a third floor locker omg i am sooooo dead... anywho i have some more poems for yalls this one is pretty recent like last night so i havnt really fixxed it up yet...

age is but a number
or so they say.
but in this day what are numbers?
they are valued
they hold hope excitment, fear.
they can help you rise
they can tear you down
in this world if we ignored numbers
 like i oh so sstrongly wished we could
our world would begin to crumble down
 sinking farther then ever before
so as much as it hurts to say. age is not just a number
its what holds our world together

yeah...... its not my best... omgeeeeeeeeeeeeee i really dont like schooooolll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

She can paint a lovely picture, but this story has a TWIST. the paint brush is a razor, and the canvas is her wrist... I dont know why i wrote this but... Yeah

poems and stuff

ok here is another poem...

when i see him my heart starts beating and unbreakable beat

my breath quickens my limbs weaken

i try to find the reason and come up with a few possibilities

it could be his eyes

 his smile

or his laugh

the way he talk

or the way he sings

the way hes always listening

always observing 

always taking in the details

the way he gazes thoughtlessly towards

 the sky searching for the ultimate key

 to unlock this worlds endless mysteries

while i tremble

and my heart goes crazy

my mind screams stop!

stop the hopeless dreams

 stop the impossible fantasy

stop believing your love

 will have the strength to find an equal match...

i wrote this a couple weeks ago during church when i was having a hard time letting go.. sadly it actually helped me. i don't know why but i feel the need to say that whoever you are even if we arnt close heck even if ya don't know me your free to tell me anything and i will try my best to help or if ya want i will just listen and yeah just thought i would say that...

   ahhhhhhhh they have a fb everyone run... my friends just finally got fb which means this world is going to end sometime very soon i don't even know why... hmmmmmmm i feel like posting two poems...

her thoughts on life has changed

she no longer fears the dark

she now welcomes

its moonlit company

her eyes are open wide

open to the endless possibilities

she sees the future 

she sees the past

along with all the knowledge

comes a sense of dread

she not only knows the beginning

she has experienced the end

yup i wrote that on the way home from fuge... i don't even know why

... all opinions are highly appreciated

Curse my dang ticklish body i swear i have been tickled and poked more in these past two weeks then i have in my whole freaken life you know who im talking bout

Impossible atraction. simple hope. realistic doubt. Early love. Heart breaking loss... One crazy summer

fight... someday

soo second poem of zee day i hope someone out there in the vast world of my 7ish followers enjoys it...

  fight

i look around and lose my way

 pull me back don't let me stray

 reality 

it fades away

 as my heart fights

 till its last day

OK theres one  think imma gunna do two sooooo...

someday

someday i will rise

 someday i will shine

 someday i will stand up to the people who led me away

 from the life

 i will have someday

the initial shock of the alb people leaving is fading and m beginning to finally be happy bout having friends in anther state... i went to youth tonight and i felt that i was losing my spark of insanity but then at McDonald's wit miah Mara (Kylie) and yazii (Joanie) and tony and Mara and i started doing something really weird together and i was all like yay I'm not becoming normal...

earlier today i became sad cause i thought i lost a random ring a new Mexican made out of a paper clip i think and i was happy cause i felt special. and so i thought i lost it almost stared crying then looked at my other hand and it was right there now it keeps reminding me of stuff and making me sad.... but i shall not take it off...

oh and my friend kylie bit me on Sunday and there is a bruise and it actually still hurts...

wow i dot dot dot alot...

see omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhgg im going crazy cause im tired and hungry... just saying bad mix oh and ive decided i will read the sermon on the mount once a week and try to write a god related poem paragraph or song also... im gonna go find some kind of food sooo ta-ta for now... opinions are highly appreciated...

ice age... plus a long rant ;)

OK so I'm finally posting another poem thingy... this is one of my least favorite ones but its the only one i actually feel like posting... for now...

an ice age is coming

its coming for me

to change my whole life 

to a different degree

its getting colder and colder

its freezing so fast

a brand new future

 without a trace of my past

i stand alone 

in the freezing cold

I'm hungry and lost 

and unbelievably scared

it took me by surprise 

i wasn't at all prepared

i look and i look

but there is nothing to find

i would give anything 

if time i could rewind

i would not take advantage

but treasure it all

may it be the big the medium 

or even the small

but an ice age is coming

 its coming for me 

to change my whole life

 to a different degree

comments appreiciated

    yuppers... this week has been shockingly hard on me. its like i don't want this week to happen cause i don't want to forget anything that happened last week. I'm holding on to my memories of last week so hard i wont let new things in.....

         its getting really annoying cause my mind wont shut up and I'm mad at my self for missing certain opportunities. i felt that my life changed so much but every things the same. i really hate when i get comfortable with an idea and then all the sudden its ruined and my life goes back to the same stupid circle of regret and loss. I'm really mad about school starting again soon...

            it seems this summer has brought me closer to god and i fear that school is gunna pull me back into the same pattern of messing up constantly and ignoring the voice inside my head. i also fear for my friends i fear that i am gunna have to stop talking to them cause i don't have the strength to be me around them... 

                i know i already had my summer break but i need at least one more chance to get out of my house at least one more chance to make this the best summer of my life...

who could have guessed that within one scorching summer i lost my love gained a new life found my calling got closer to my best friend and gained what i hope to be life long friends... shoot the summer aint even over yet...

wow it feels good to let crap out.. 

love yalls peace//

            

crazy Jesus stuff

hiya world or four people who currently follow this crazy blog first i really need a new name so please comment ideas or anything cause i got nada....

second... this past week has been really crazy in many ways I've really been struggling with life and self confidence and all that jazz.. and just i met a bunch of amazing people this week and they have impacted my life in major ways.... i really don't want them to leave ever but in my heart i will for sure see every last one of them again... an amazing thing happened to people prayed for my knees cause my knees have been dislocated many times so when i moved them they would crack and pop and my grinding noises but in the middle of them praying both my knees popped and i was moving them freely with no restriction at all... PRAISE GOD!!!! haha oh and before that happened an amazing person named chuck Elmore said some stuff i had heard before and ignored but i finally listened and one of my new friends had a word for me and completely helped me with my extremely self conscious mind... then right after the knee deally my awesome new friend Alex came to me and said some amazing things that hit me so hard i finally have forgiven the people in my life who have wronged me....   well that was a portion of my day minus the part where i went crazy.. anyone reading this i need you to close your eyes (not yet) and picture yourself on gods lap now ask him this one question "what do you think of me"  i can guarantee you the answer is worth the initial embarrassment...

new mexico/survey thingy

OK this is a shout out to my amazing new Mexico friend you guys rock and i very much hope i will see every one of y'all again in the near future. i hope we get even closer to each other and god...

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
yuppers

2. If you married the last person you chatted with, what would your last name be?
horjus

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
eh

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
a random person who called me idk who earlier today

5. Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
... well Joanie... jk i love her

6. Listening to music?
nope.. silence has fallen on his house

7.What are you excited for?
nothing really

8. What were you doing yesterday?
Jesus culture

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
To type: no one. To say: no one.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A tooth brush

11.Do you have a best friend?
Yuppers

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
no

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
yes

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
people who threw my phone

15.What time is it right this second?
1;34 am

16. What do you want right now?
for my mind to stop working

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
random strangers

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
single\heartbroken

19. When was the last time you cried?
today

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
somewhat

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
lately

22. How fast does your mind change?
it doesn't

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
you just won your bet

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
no.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
cause they are flawed.

26. Tell me what's on your mind?
how annoying life  is

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
satellites and sirens new CD

28. Have you ever worn the opposite gender's clothing?
Yuppers.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
currently

30. When is your next road trip?
I hope soon and to new Mexico

31. Do you have someone of the opposite gender you can tell anything to?
Yes and no at the same time

32. How's your heart?
hurt

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Yes.

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
no.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Sleep

36. Next time you will kiss someone?
a long time away my guess.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Told: yes. Typed: no.

38. Who do you not get along with?
almost everyone at times

39. What does your third text on your phone say?
ill give you a hint i hate wearing shirts... (Darius)

40. What are you wearing right now?
PJ's

41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
impossible

42. Whens the last time you had a grilled cheese?
about a week ago

43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
boy: ash    girl:   Persephone

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
crappy

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
yes

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
sadly

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
driving home from Jesus culture

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
MAS

49. Whose the first B in your contacts?
Becca

50. when was the last time you laughed really hard?
30 minutes ago

51. If your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
before they took a step away

52. Last awkward moment?
in miahs room... he is tired

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes

54. Do you have good vision?
not even close

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
occasional:).

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
multiple times

57. Are you Irish?
very 

58. Do you use chap stick?
Burt's bees please.

59. Do you have any scars?
allot...

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
three people

61. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
i wish

62. Do you trust anyone with your life?
my family and friends

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
if is love

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
yes i don't care what people say

65. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a M W K R S J D G or H?
yesish

66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
left or towards the closest blank wall

67. Whats the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
make sure I'm not dreaming

68. Do you fall for people easily?
no it takes a while for me to fall

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yeah but in a friendly manner

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
extremely so and not

71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
no never.

72. Song You're thinking of right now? 

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
not likely

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
Black

76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
no.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
no I'm used to it

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
they might know it but not my feelings bout it.

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
forced unless I'm with close friends

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
more then anything

... hmmm this could be awkward i just did it cause I'm bored and decided to be weird and Mara did it and i had Nada to post... poems coming up... sooner or later

the plan

so. you know that plan i had, 'bout posting a poem everyday.
welll. it failed.
my phone is mean and wont let me post.
so. sad face.

yuppers.

i'll post every now and then.
so till then peace.