You know what feels really good? Saying sorry to people for past mistakes... Im glad i had the guts to say that... GOD LOVES YOU!!! and you know what? So do i:)

camera

k so i really really really want a camera my awesome youth leader renee had her new one at church and its so pretty and i was taking a bunch of pictures and i like really like some of them... like alot... This is my favorite one... i love how it turned out...

 bow ties are cool!!!!!

 i think this one is super cute

and this one is odd... i dont know how i feel about it...

ok now someone explain to me why people come to me for dvice... i mean i love helping people... but i dont really know what i am doing in my own life... and i have like no experience with successful relationships... well i guess until now... but still... its weird... welp i love you all!!!!!!! and god loves you even more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From now on my"i will always be there for you" has a few restrictions. Well not really. but still i am really tired. I dont even think i have good advice! Hmph.

just a simple kiss...

this is a cute song...

and this is my little ginger baby!!!!!!!!!! isnt he so cute and stuff?!?!?!? i meaan come on look at his little face!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH i can not believe doctor who isnt going to be starting till autumn OF 2012... its not fair.... i am very sad about it... yeah...

super cute!

so i ended up on this girls page and i thought this video was super cute and i wanted to sare it with all y'all out there!

and this to make you cry...

Well today is christmas and i am really bored... Ive been sleeping ALL day and all i want to do is watch doctor who and then this day can end...

Who to cuddle with!! I mean i gotta chose between therman herman and my dalek... Whatever shall i do!!!

always

darkened frown
shattered souls
 come find me
 on your own

ill be waiting
past the sky
 find me crying
i promise ill try

smile with stitches
starless sky
grab it all
 say goodbye

promise me
 cresent moon
 love me always
 but not too soon



so this poem is super old i found it in a notebook from 5th grade... i like it... yuppers...

and this song is like super cute... just saying...

miles that seperate

separate

miles that separate

 friends that discriminate 

 circumstance that keep us apart

 and those people that broke our hearts

 the feeling i was afraid to show

 the one you made known 

the good times and the bad

 the happy and the sad

 you'd never give up when i would

 you d never let go when i said you should

 you've said you love me

 and i believe it true 

now its time i say 

i love you too

 as the days go by

 i continue to find this feeling inside

 is so hard to deny 

you amaze me in every way 

and continuously take my breath away

 you know me better then i know myself 

its like i am a book 

that you have read inside and out 

you know when I'm happy and when i am sad

 you even know when the little things make me mad

  you've won my heart

 and proved yourself true

 i don't know how you did it

 but you made me fall head over heels for you!


yuppers... so i am super bored yuppers... enjoy! comments welcome...

school!

i dont know why my teachers think it is smart to try to teach today... no one pays attention its kind of sad... but i am happy i have had my first candy cane of the season haha the first of many! i am completly addicted to theees things... well i think my teacher does not apreciate me blogging so... yeah

i am the proud owner of a comfy hoody with my favorite doctor who quote :) "i like biting its like kissing but there is a winner!" thanks my love, its perfect!

insanity...

ok so my bio teacher is literally insane if he thinks anyone is going to finish the seven pages of questions he assigned plus his forty minute screen cast... yeah not going to happen i have been working for over three hours and i am not half done and i still have a mel-con to write... me= super stressed... there is to much going on right now... i gotta stay strong but i really dont want to... well on a brighter note i finally got all of my christmas shopping done... thanks to my awesome sister stephanie who loves me bunches! hahaha

yeah i am bored... blah blah blah blah i love you alll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah i did it!! I wrote the poem... I got mad and just got paper and wrote down some cheesy romantic stuff... And it worked... 24 hours to spare! (So proud)

wedding poem?

i don't know why people think i can just sit down chose a subject and write a magnificent poem... i only write what i feel or what i know... i cant write about a love that isn't mine... but i have till tonight to write a poem for my sisters wedding... i am scared... if i don't do it she will be mad and she will most likely think i didn't try... ahhhhgggg!!!! i hate writing things happy... it just does not work almost 85% of my poems are dark or depressing... i just don't know what to do... well this is what i have though i don't like this but it might just have to do...

wedding poem

a troubled teen 

a wounded soul

all she wanted was to let go

he came in

 her shooting star

soon she knew

 he would never be far

in their hearts love grew so steadily

it seemed holding on

 would be the only remedy

now we speed ahead

she is walking down the isle

he cant hide his smile 

all eyes a bright 

and filled with tears of joy

 ready to proclaim their love

on this never to be forgotten night

knowing that from here on out

 they will never be truly apart

they grasp each others hands 

and know they are ready

 to spend the rest of their life

together...

please comment! tell me if this is good

Great day... Great night... Great week... Now add some great sleep to the mix and i will be very happy:) oh and i love love... Yuppers i do:)

life, babies, and christmas presents...

well in this past year one of my twin sisters decided to get prego a couple months in so did my other one... haha currently my sister Charlotte is a proud mother of a beautiful little boy named Liam Charles hall... and my sister Caitlin has found out she Will be having her own little boy named... Braydon Matthew Baily... i am so excited to have to new additions to my ever growing family (also because i m no longer the baby... SCORE) and also cant wait to formally welcome Matthew(my sister chars soon to be hubby) into the family... even though i am being forced to read a poem that has proved to be very difficult to write...

well enough with the family update... 

My Love

when i am surrounded by darkness

you are my moonlight

when rain pours down

you are my dance partner

when i am in distress

you are my knight in shining armor

but most of all

when i am in need of comfort...

you are my one true love... <3<3<3<3

I Love You

my life is looking up. I feel like i am finally being shot up out of this shallow grave i have dug myself. the only thing i truly hate right now is distance and my inability to travel to faraway places at impossible speeds... though i would walk a thousand miles if i could just see him... (yes stolen from that one song) haha

to hear your sweet voice

to rest in your warm embrace

is my only wish...

What person in this world truly likes Christmas shopping?... that's right no one  haha i suck at it all my friends are so simple to shop for that it makes it hard to do... and i want to get a select few people something really special to try to show how thankful i am for all they have done for me... but tis impossible cause i have no idea what in the world they want.... aahhhggg it drives me insane... hmmm i should just bake em some cookies... eh what eves

\/(-_-) peace out my peeps :p

Its crazy how flipped around my life is... I was miserable then in a matter of minutes everything changed... Completly and utterly changed... ich bin Spitze

lego?

well i am very proud of my nerdy self... i just put together an awesome sponge bob lego set and it is complex and it looks ubfbvnkjfdn awesome i am going to find a way to post a picture sooner or later.... but trust me it is pretty freaking amazing...

well i guess since i am here and bored heres some poems...

11:11

a wish

a worthless little wish

a time wher even if

there is no logical hope of it coming true

still you take a gamble

throw the die

wish for money

 happyness

a difference

or even love

you wish for strength

for you

and for others

a time for hope

a time that allows you to hold the faint

beliefe that soon

due to one wish

your life

could change...

and...

omg i have become like in love with the band "this beautiful republic"... they are amazing and their songs make me happy sad and jjdkjfleij at the same time... yeah welp... i love halloween it is my favorite holiday cause you dont have to be with family... and you get free candy from random strangers...



haikus and footloose:)

Today jillian and i went to go see footloose i was very proud of the movie it was so cute and... of course it got me a little teary eyed at the end:)

 well after a long day of movies malls panda unicorns and much more i decided to post some of the random "haikus" i have been stuck on since math class yesterday...

I am done wishing,

done wishing for love to find me,

its time i find it.

I can't wait for love,

cause it just isnt coming,

at least not for me.

the moment is here,

stand up stand tall just stay strong,

its time for a change.

what did you just say?

i am NOT the redhead girl.

yes i have a name.

(in gym the other day some jerk snapped at me and was all like "yo redhead give me the ball"... i got really mad... AND i am not even a dang redhead...)

ferrets kinda smell,

cats can be ginormus jerks,

can i have a squirel?

just a hopeless wish

an intense longing for love

it tears me apart.

yuppers dude man sir

that is how you write some poems

oh yeah i am cool:p

haha yeah... so the other day i wrote like ten letters for people only to find out i have no stamps to send them so now i am all sad and i really need to get a bunch of really random stamps...

lists...

yes it is happening i am finally going to write my wish list or bucket list or goal list or whatever people call them nowadays... 

1. dance with royalty
2. eat Canadian bacon in Canada
3. be on TV
4. write a book
5. record a CD
6. meet David tenant
7. write a book
8. publish a book of my poetry
9. get a good review on a book of poetry
10. fall in love
11. have significant other
12. be able to speak in front of people 
13. go to new Mexico to see the balloon thingy
14. get closer to god
15. have at least one friend in every state conquer my fear and walk through statesville
16. get over ten followers on blogger
17. go to Britain
18. live in another state
19. get my licence
20. my first...
21. become really good at playing piano
22. kissed in the pouring rain
23. hold a squirrel
24. be liked by a teacher
25. own one poster from every twilight movie
26. dance with a daddy in a father daughter dance
27. win something important
28. make a difference
29. go around the world and evangelize!
30. take a boat to london
31. memorize a bunch of random phobias
32. ride a unicorn
33. go to six flags
34. eat a taco bell taco in mexico
35. eat a phillie cheese steak in philli
36. have tea in london
37. party like a rock party like a rockstar!
38. graduate
39. have simon cowel coment on my singing
40. try out for american idol
41. married
42. high school dance with person i love
43. get a camera
44. be a fuge staffer
45. say sorry to the people i have directly wronged
46. hug a dinosaur...
47. go to new mexico
48. blog everyday for a week
49. do everything on my list
50. skydive
51. have a baby (years later dont worry no prego maddie anytime soon)
52. find my long lost twin...
53. move into an apartment with a bunch of friends
54. do a backflip
55. become a youth leader
56. book made into movie
57. book made into disney channel movie

ok there are many more but i dont really remember any of em

years?

haha it feels like its been years since i have posted which i guess is impossible but still i feel bad idk why... well life has been crazy and just wrong idk why its just been all hbsfbksjcnurjnakduju but things are finally starting to go at a steady pace... well anywho i have decided i completely and utterly despise speeches... i failed epically i mean i had to write a speech for a book called impulse by Ellen Hopkins who is amazing by the way but so i write it and i actually liked how i did but when i stood in front of the class i legit froze i could not talk and when i did i stuttered and shook and couldn't breath. i was so beyond embarrassed it was ahjfjlllllflll... but i am glad its over... well i am going to try to post a poem or something later but who knows...


oh and i have become slightly in love with the show the big bang theory! aha yuppers

Hmph i hate my phone no one is recieving my texts and none are making it to my phone... This is pure bogus

point of view...

OK it has been a crazy long time since i have posted lets start this off with 2 yes i said two new poems... here goes...

where everyone else only sees the wind in the grass

or an empty shadow.

i see my greatest fears ready to pounce.

i see destruction take form and hate radiate.

i see hope flee and feel safety fade away.

i hear the piercing screams and the defeated pleas.

i see the fallen soldiers and embrace the broken families.

i feel the motion of the curve in this everlasting circle of

love,

loss,

regret,

depression.

i sense the whispered lies

and run from the terror filled cries...

number 2...

the rain to wash the fears away.

the lightening to scorch our doubts.

the thunder to make the darkness flee.

and you to keep it out.

a gust of wind to ignite the final heart.

a never ending flame to show we did our part.

the second one is really short... bu hey i said 2 poems not to "long" poems :P

anywho...

life has been truly crazy. and tiring beyond belief. it seems i have no energy left for this year I'm emotionally rained and physically drained... i found out and climb and descend a minimum of 320 stairs and that is if i don't go to my locker... but on the bright side i have kinda sorta made some kind of potential friends... AAAAHHHHH OMG I'm so happy my school library is amazing. there are sooo many books!!! i went to the online catalog and made a book list of like 75 books.. sad thing is i think i might actually be able to read them all in one school year and that is my goal.. i have a feeling the people in the library are going to love me... so Friday night i went to my schools football game with my sister to help her record the game so i got a cool press pass and was able to legit walk on the field and i felt special... though from looking at the footage i realized i am extremely shaky.... so i think that is all for the random catch up jazz... oh and just thought i would add... I LOVE JESUS... and GOTT LIEBT DU!!!! (that is god loves you in German)

dont forget... and rANDOM STUFF

HELLO THERE oops that was on accident ah but who doesn't LOVE CAPS LOCK... well actually i don't it annoys me and makes me sad... i don't even know why... so i am a freshman and i just started high school this week and just thought i would tell you how much i hate school... yeah i hate it alot.. well i hate everything but German... wirlklich... yeah that's "really" in German just saying "ich libbe dich" is "i love you" yup theres your random lesson for the day... oh and pennies hurt... just informing you... well here's the next poem... i cant tell the mood...

don't forget

don't forget 

to always dream and believe.

don't forget

not all good leaves

don't forget

time loves to fly

don't forget

to say goodbye

don't forget

about your past

don't forget

it might not last

don't forget

the tears you cried

don't forget

they eventually dried

don't forget

about the knife

don't forget

you won your life

don't forget

all your sorrows

don't forget

there might not be a tomorrow...

yuppers there it is... and its not that depressing ii hope:P

k so i am in love with this one guy named Cameron mitchell his music is amazingly awesome and hes awesome so I'm in love... yup... 

i suck at convos and i want to be able to text people more... i have a question for people reading this if you were texting someone what random deepish but not awkward topics or question would you ask... i really wanna know so comment please...

Never look a raven in the eyes to long it will steal your soul and fly away... Never look a boy in the eyes to long he will steal your heart and run away...

I feel really sick all the sudden i have a migrane and im dizzy as heck... Blahh i hate this:'(

i am here

i am here

i see your tears

 through the smile you portray

i see your fear

 through the bravery you play.

through the darkness i see you trying to hide

i know why you run

i know why you cry

you don't need to hide from me

you don't need to run

I'm standing here with open arms 

and open ears

ready to hold you

 ready to listen

 find comfort in me

cause i am here.

yuppers there ya go a happy none sad poem all trust and good ol' love...

 hmph i feel weird...

it might be because i am dead tired and have no idea whats going on like at all... its

been a crazy night... i swear i get a weird feeling some days where i just know I'm gunna cry I'm shocked that i was oh so right today... just saying this smart person right here got so overwhelmed i almost bashed my phone into glass... at church but instead i thrust my phone at yazii and fell to the floor sobbing... and legit 5 seconds after falling to the floor i hear a door shut... a shoot people always catch me crying... and in walks my awesome pastor to comfort me... how sweet... (i felt kinda bad cause i was currently texting people)gosh i am so dang grateful for all the people in my life who keep me sane (slightly) and so yeah haha love yalls night night

p.s. feed my fish and there are two black ones soo look for them they are really cute:P

yadda yadda yadda

hiya everyone so my summers coming to an end and i am not happy bout it. but i will live.. i hope :P so i got some interesting classes and the worst scedual possible this year AND a third floor locker omg i am sooooo dead... anywho i have some more poems for yalls this one is pretty recent like last night so i havnt really fixxed it up yet...

age is but a number
or so they say.
but in this day what are numbers?
they are valued
they hold hope excitment, fear.
they can help you rise
they can tear you down
in this world if we ignored numbers
 like i oh so sstrongly wished we could
our world would begin to crumble down
 sinking farther then ever before
so as much as it hurts to say. age is not just a number
its what holds our world together

yeah...... its not my best... omgeeeeeeeeeeeeee i really dont like schooooolll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

She can paint a lovely picture, but this story has a TWIST. the paint brush is a razor, and the canvas is her wrist... I dont know why i wrote this but... Yeah

poems and stuff

ok here is another poem...

when i see him my heart starts beating and unbreakable beat

my breath quickens my limbs weaken

i try to find the reason and come up with a few possibilities

it could be his eyes

 his smile

or his laugh

the way he talk

or the way he sings

the way hes always listening

always observing 

always taking in the details

the way he gazes thoughtlessly towards

 the sky searching for the ultimate key

 to unlock this worlds endless mysteries

while i tremble

and my heart goes crazy

my mind screams stop!

stop the hopeless dreams

 stop the impossible fantasy

stop believing your love

 will have the strength to find an equal match...

i wrote this a couple weeks ago during church when i was having a hard time letting go.. sadly it actually helped me. i don't know why but i feel the need to say that whoever you are even if we arnt close heck even if ya don't know me your free to tell me anything and i will try my best to help or if ya want i will just listen and yeah just thought i would say that...

   ahhhhhhhh they have a fb everyone run... my friends just finally got fb which means this world is going to end sometime very soon i don't even know why... hmmmmmmm i feel like posting two poems...

her thoughts on life has changed

she no longer fears the dark

she now welcomes

its moonlit company

her eyes are open wide

open to the endless possibilities

she sees the future 

she sees the past

along with all the knowledge

comes a sense of dread

she not only knows the beginning

she has experienced the end

yup i wrote that on the way home from fuge... i don't even know why

... all opinions are highly appreciated

Curse my dang ticklish body i swear i have been tickled and poked more in these past two weeks then i have in my whole freaken life you know who im talking bout

Impossible atraction. simple hope. realistic doubt. Early love. Heart breaking loss... One crazy summer

fight... someday

soo second poem of zee day i hope someone out there in the vast world of my 7ish followers enjoys it...

  fight

i look around and lose my way

 pull me back don't let me stray

 reality 

it fades away

 as my heart fights

 till its last day

OK theres one  think imma gunna do two sooooo...

someday

someday i will rise

 someday i will shine

 someday i will stand up to the people who led me away

 from the life

 i will have someday

the initial shock of the alb people leaving is fading and m beginning to finally be happy bout having friends in anther state... i went to youth tonight and i felt that i was losing my spark of insanity but then at McDonald's wit miah Mara (Kylie) and yazii (Joanie) and tony and Mara and i started doing something really weird together and i was all like yay I'm not becoming normal...

earlier today i became sad cause i thought i lost a random ring a new Mexican made out of a paper clip i think and i was happy cause i felt special. and so i thought i lost it almost stared crying then looked at my other hand and it was right there now it keeps reminding me of stuff and making me sad.... but i shall not take it off...

oh and my friend kylie bit me on Sunday and there is a bruise and it actually still hurts...

wow i dot dot dot alot...

see omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhgg im going crazy cause im tired and hungry... just saying bad mix oh and ive decided i will read the sermon on the mount once a week and try to write a god related poem paragraph or song also... im gonna go find some kind of food sooo ta-ta for now... opinions are highly appreciated...

ice age... plus a long rant ;)

OK so I'm finally posting another poem thingy... this is one of my least favorite ones but its the only one i actually feel like posting... for now...

an ice age is coming

its coming for me

to change my whole life 

to a different degree

its getting colder and colder

its freezing so fast

a brand new future

 without a trace of my past

i stand alone 

in the freezing cold

I'm hungry and lost 

and unbelievably scared

it took me by surprise 

i wasn't at all prepared

i look and i look

but there is nothing to find

i would give anything 

if time i could rewind

i would not take advantage

but treasure it all

may it be the big the medium 

or even the small

but an ice age is coming

 its coming for me 

to change my whole life

 to a different degree

comments appreiciated

    yuppers... this week has been shockingly hard on me. its like i don't want this week to happen cause i don't want to forget anything that happened last week. I'm holding on to my memories of last week so hard i wont let new things in.....

         its getting really annoying cause my mind wont shut up and I'm mad at my self for missing certain opportunities. i felt that my life changed so much but every things the same. i really hate when i get comfortable with an idea and then all the sudden its ruined and my life goes back to the same stupid circle of regret and loss. I'm really mad about school starting again soon...

            it seems this summer has brought me closer to god and i fear that school is gunna pull me back into the same pattern of messing up constantly and ignoring the voice inside my head. i also fear for my friends i fear that i am gunna have to stop talking to them cause i don't have the strength to be me around them... 

                i know i already had my summer break but i need at least one more chance to get out of my house at least one more chance to make this the best summer of my life...

who could have guessed that within one scorching summer i lost my love gained a new life found my calling got closer to my best friend and gained what i hope to be life long friends... shoot the summer aint even over yet...

wow it feels good to let crap out.. 

love yalls peace//

            

crazy Jesus stuff

hiya world or four people who currently follow this crazy blog first i really need a new name so please comment ideas or anything cause i got nada....

second... this past week has been really crazy in many ways I've really been struggling with life and self confidence and all that jazz.. and just i met a bunch of amazing people this week and they have impacted my life in major ways.... i really don't want them to leave ever but in my heart i will for sure see every last one of them again... an amazing thing happened to people prayed for my knees cause my knees have been dislocated many times so when i moved them they would crack and pop and my grinding noises but in the middle of them praying both my knees popped and i was moving them freely with no restriction at all... PRAISE GOD!!!! haha oh and before that happened an amazing person named chuck Elmore said some stuff i had heard before and ignored but i finally listened and one of my new friends had a word for me and completely helped me with my extremely self conscious mind... then right after the knee deally my awesome new friend Alex came to me and said some amazing things that hit me so hard i finally have forgiven the people in my life who have wronged me....   well that was a portion of my day minus the part where i went crazy.. anyone reading this i need you to close your eyes (not yet) and picture yourself on gods lap now ask him this one question "what do you think of me"  i can guarantee you the answer is worth the initial embarrassment...

new mexico/survey thingy

OK this is a shout out to my amazing new Mexico friend you guys rock and i very much hope i will see every one of y'all again in the near future. i hope we get even closer to each other and god...

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
yuppers

2. If you married the last person you chatted with, what would your last name be?
horjus

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
eh

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
a random person who called me idk who earlier today

5. Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
... well Joanie... jk i love her

6. Listening to music?
nope.. silence has fallen on his house

7.What are you excited for?
nothing really

8. What were you doing yesterday?
Jesus culture

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
To type: no one. To say: no one.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A tooth brush

11.Do you have a best friend?
Yuppers

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
no

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
yes

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
people who threw my phone

15.What time is it right this second?
1;34 am

16. What do you want right now?
for my mind to stop working

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
random strangers

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
single\heartbroken

19. When was the last time you cried?
today

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
somewhat

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
lately

22. How fast does your mind change?
it doesn't

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
you just won your bet

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
no.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
cause they are flawed.

26. Tell me what's on your mind?
how annoying life  is

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
satellites and sirens new CD

28. Have you ever worn the opposite gender's clothing?
Yuppers.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
currently

30. When is your next road trip?
I hope soon and to new Mexico

31. Do you have someone of the opposite gender you can tell anything to?
Yes and no at the same time

32. How's your heart?
hurt

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Yes.

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
no.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Sleep

36. Next time you will kiss someone?
a long time away my guess.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Told: yes. Typed: no.

38. Who do you not get along with?
almost everyone at times

39. What does your third text on your phone say?
ill give you a hint i hate wearing shirts... (Darius)

40. What are you wearing right now?
PJ's

41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
impossible

42. Whens the last time you had a grilled cheese?
about a week ago

43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
boy: ash    girl:   Persephone

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
crappy

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
yes

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
sadly

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
driving home from Jesus culture

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
MAS

49. Whose the first B in your contacts?
Becca

50. when was the last time you laughed really hard?
30 minutes ago

51. If your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
before they took a step away

52. Last awkward moment?
in miahs room... he is tired

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes

54. Do you have good vision?
not even close

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
occasional:).

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
multiple times

57. Are you Irish?
very 

58. Do you use chap stick?
Burt's bees please.

59. Do you have any scars?
allot...

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
three people

61. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
i wish

62. Do you trust anyone with your life?
my family and friends

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
if is love

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
yes i don't care what people say

65. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a M W K R S J D G or H?
yesish

66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
left or towards the closest blank wall

67. Whats the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
make sure I'm not dreaming

68. Do you fall for people easily?
no it takes a while for me to fall

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yeah but in a friendly manner

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
extremely so and not

71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
no never.

72. Song You're thinking of right now? 

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
not likely

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
Black

76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
no.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
no I'm used to it

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
they might know it but not my feelings bout it.

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
forced unless I'm with close friends

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
more then anything

... hmmm this could be awkward i just did it cause I'm bored and decided to be weird and Mara did it and i had Nada to post... poems coming up... sooner or later

the plan

so. you know that plan i had, 'bout posting a poem everyday.
welll. it failed.
my phone is mean and wont let me post.
so. sad face.

yuppers.

i'll post every now and then.
so till then peace.

my world of dreams

in my world of dreams
things are not as you may think
the rabbits walk the humans hop
the birds are controlled by strings
in my world of dreams

in my world of dreams
get ready to see a scene
of trees dancing flowers talking
and predators catching prey
just hope that you don't stray
in my world of dreams

how to get you may ask
it's not as tough as it may seem
close your eyes
clear your head
and welcome to my world of dreams.

this is old, so, be nice.
yeah.

my plans

so my plan is im going to try to find all my favorite poems and post one everyday... i was listening to Taylor swift for some strange reason and the song "speak now" came on. i have said many times how much i hate said song but i listened to the words and realize though not as extreme i have done what she is talking bout. i really had to sit down and think about it. i have openly said i thought the song was selfish and that if you love someone and that person is happy with someone else. let them go. i also realized its not that easy... since i know how much i hate being somewhat hypocritical. im  gonna start trying to do what i think is right and listen to my own advice... "give him up"

i decided my poem for today will be one on the happier side

reach out
when your life gets crazy
and your hopes grow few
call out for me and i will be there for you


when you fall or stumble
and it seems your best wont do
reach out to me and ill be there for you


when your heart breaks
and you become blue
cry out for me and ill be there for you.


when you start to cry
that will be my Que 
to extend my arms and reach out to you...

dried irises

   it looks like a swooping dragon but its very pretty to me... even beauttiful in death... 

if...

im bored

• If I was a month, id be october

If I was a time of day, I'd be midnight

If I was a direction, I'd be north

If I was a planet, I'd be Gallifrey.

If I was a piece of furniture, I'd be a bookshelf

If I was a poet, I'd be shel silverstien

If I was a gemstone, I'd be onyx

If I was a tree, I'd be a weeping willow

If I was a bird I'd, I'd be a hawk

If I was a tool, I'd be a hammer

If I was a flower, id be a  dried iris

If I was a season, I'd be fall

If I was a musical instrument, I'd be drums 

If I was a word, I'd be oxymoron

If I was a feeling, I'd be depression

If I was a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate 

If I was a sound, I'd be a silent scream

If I was a body part, I'd be an eye

If I was an automobile, I'd be a a crappy beat up van

If I was a place, I'd be borders

If I was a jewelry, I'd be a lip ring

If I was an age, I'd be 25

If I was a weapon, I'd be a katana

If I was a country, I'd be England

if i were an animal, id be a unicorn

if i were a writing utensil, id be a sharpie

so my friend did this so i thought why not sooo yup

bravery...ish

Jerr:  oh... snap..... hi!... we need to start calling someone peanut butter.... 

 me:  hmmm and why is that...

 Jerr:  we could be weird... have that person stand next to jillian... Peanut butter and jilly!.... and then i'd walk away and pretend i didn't think of it ...

             just saying i felt this needed to be shown to show that my friend jedi is NOT the sane one in my group... anywho i have decided to go against my head and post some of my poems and or songs up here so... here goes...

do you know what your doing to me?

do you know what youve done to my heart?

do you know whats happening to my soul?

do you know your tearing me apart?

im filled with emotions,

but im filled with nothing at all.

my wings have been ripped of

now im starting to fall.

down through the clouds.

down unto earth.

forced right back down,

to the planet of my birth.

i feel as if im hopeless,

 but then i look around.

i realize all that i have. 

i have realized im not suffering.

i have my friends,

i have my family.

even though we will never be what i had so strongly hoped.

i even still have you.

k so i know its somewhat stupid and sounds overly despreate but i wrote this when i was hurt broken and needed to find a reason to hope... hope yall like it... 

I am warm-hearted, i am reliable, i am generous, i am smart, i am strong... I am hopeful... I am loved... I realize how much my friends help keep me like this<3

Hi so im experimenting with blogger mobile so im posting from my phone sooo yup

hiya

hmmm i have absoluty nothing to say....... yup so im tired and bored so im making a blog i dont know where im headed with this but i have a feeling its gunna be weird... and awesome sooo.... im a geek in many ways so be prepared for random coments about weird geeky stuff... and i like dots...


so thats all for now TaTa [0.0]